Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Stranger in the house

Jen over at Buried with Children inspired this post...actually reminded me of this and I thought, it's a good story; why not share?....
I am a night owl; most nights I am up by myself for a few hours before I finally call it a night. Before I discovered blogging, I was a t.v.-aholic. Not just any t.v., but bad t.v. Oh and I loved t.v. around Halloween because they had all these freaky stories on...I was watching one such story about this doctor in Key West, Florida in the 1920s. He worked in a tuberculosis ward and fell in love with one of his patients. Unfortunately, the patient succumbed to the disease and passed away. The doctor couldn't get over his undying love for this woman so he exhumed the body and made it his wife...in.the.biblical.sense... (don't believe me, click here)
Now the freak that I am had heard this story before and I knew there were going to be pictures involved...that's just the icing on the cake...so even though I had seen the pictures, I was getting anxious with anticipation at seeing it again. So I'm nervously awaiting the pictures while sitting on my couch near my front window (it's about 12:30 am) when I hear a car door shut. I think to myself, that sounded awfully close, but didn't think anything of it. Then all of a sudden the screen door opens and I freeze...surely, I am freaking myself out by watching scary television, but then the front door opens and this man walks into my house!!!
Now, have you ever had a dream when you are attacked or something jumps out at you and you scream and nothing comes out?! Well, it's a recurring nightmare of mine that if something ever happened, I would lose my voice and would be unable to call for help. Let me tell you, I no longer have to worry about that...I jumped up from the couch, got in a semi-crouched position, fists clenched and shaking; I screamed at the top of my lungs, "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed so loud my throat hurt! Well the guy (who never got past the front door) looked at me weird and just backed out of my house and left. I then proceed to scream for my husband, "BILL, BILL, THERE IS SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE!!" Well Mr. Policeman comes running out of the bedroom in his birthday suit carrying his gun...he is still half asleep and completely freaked out. He asked me what happened and I hysterically tell him someone just walked into the door, etc. etc. So my husband in the buff with his gun cocked (I couldn't resist) goes to run out in my front yard...I slam the door shut and tell him he's not running outside naked!! (Okay, so my priorities are a little off at this point) so he runs back in the bedroom puts on pants and then runs out (much better). Needless to say, there is no sign of the guy...we called the cops and they couldn't find any signs of the guy...so my husband tells me I need to go to sleep as it's 2 am now...sleep?! whaat?! My husband offers to stand guard so that I can sleep, but I opted for him to come to bed with me so that if the guy returned, he'd be right there.
As I was sharing this story over the next few days, I got a lot of "So who do you think it was?", "Have you asked any of your neighbors if they've seen anything", etc. Well, in our old neighborhood, we really didn't know anyone, but then it clicked...the newish neighbor across the street kinda looked like our perp (Bill hates it when I speak cop-ese)...So the story in my mind that helped me sleep better...was that new Mr. Neighbor comes home drunk late at night, confuses the houses walks into my house and is confronted by crazy screaming lady (moi!). Talk about a sobering moment!!

30 comments:

Jen said...

I am so glad that my post helped you remember this and that you posted it.
Being some one who just went through something similar, I can totally relate and laugh. Your hubby running around naked with a gun is cracking me up. I have some pretty funny mental pictures (don't worry, I have no idea what your hubby looks like so it is just random guy running naked with a gun, stuff flapping in the wind). hahahaha

Jo-Jo said...

Your "husband in the buff with his gun cocked"~Hilarious! Did you ever ask your neighbor or see him afterwards to see what his reaction was?

Frizzy and Bird said...

I'm shocked that you were ever able to sleep. Not me! I'm so thankful I didn't read this last night or I myself wouldn't have gotten any sleep. Loved how your hubby came to your rescue. Definitely one the guys at the office could give him heck about.

Cassie said...

That is so funny (though I'm sure it was scary at the time). He had his gun cocked? I wouldn't have been able to resist either. If that was your new neighbor, he probably has a pretty funny version of this story too. The next day he was probably like..."Dude, I was so drunk last night, guess what I did..." haha.

Lori said...

Oh so funny! I loved your reaction to the guy. I can imagine you springing on him and scratching his eyes out. :)

justjuli said...

Well, your neighbor probably sobered up pretty quick! And now you know that you won't panic in a tense/scary situation!!

Also - good thing YOU weren't in your birthday suit when he came in - That would have been quite a way to welcome the new guy to the neighborhood. :)

christie said...

I remember that story...the one of the man with the patient that died. Yuck.
You had me ROLLING with this post. You will never have to worry about being too scared to scream.
So you think it was a drunk neighbor. Now a reenactment of your story would make a cool late-night show!

Shanna said...

OMG that's FREAKY! I would have been completely and totally wigged out! Glad he wasn't actually a bad guy. Was your door unlocked?? tsk tsk!
Now I must go check out the link you provided lol ;)

JWilson said...

Oh my God I am rolling with laughter right now. The first thing I thought when you said the an gave you a strange look was he was drunk and walked into the wrong house. I say this because when my hubbie was 20 he walked into someones apartment thinking it was his friends but it wasn't. Thankfulyl the man that lived there was cool.

Shannon said...

OMG!!! ..."with his gun cocked"... HILARIOUS!!! You are too funny!

I'm sure you were scared out of your wits then, but at least you can laugh about it know, right?

American in Norway said...

That wouold have scared the C R A P out of me.... Can you imagine what an A&% he must have felt like... & knowing Bill is a cop?

Andrea said...

That was funny but not at the same time.
Darn. My husband isn't home, now I am getting freaked out late at night!

omshantihandcrafts said...

Okay, that's scary, but awesome. Good to know you won't panic! I'll admit I keep a rock hammer by the bed, just in case...

Hee!

Kate

Kat said...

That is so funny. I want to know what your neighbor was thinking the next morning. And if you guys ever discussed the "event."

Susie said...

Oh my god!! I would have crapped my pants!! What a story!! So, do you totally lock your door obcessively now?

Thanks for stopping by again and being my biggest fan:-)

Jennifer said...

OMG--I would have had a heart attack!! The image of your hubby running naked w/ his gun cocked is cracking me up--that should be a scene in a movie! I'm glad it all turned out ok!!!

Meg said...

This story was hilarious and scary at the same time!

quitecontrary1977 said...

is your husband as funny as you? jeez..you keep me laughing!

Gina said...

Hahahahaha. Funny, creepy post. This happened to me oonce as I was crawling into bed. A female came into and left my house very quietly. I got a good look at her- the door squeeked so I looked out the window over the door- and her car and we saw it a block over and down. I got really super scolded by the cop for not locking my door. I try to remember now- and the poor teenaged girl was mortified. Apparently she was looking for the brown house with a white picket fence on XXXnd. Yep that could be us. Or not. She was looking for DRIVE and we are AVENUE.

DYSFUNCTIONAL MOM said...

You scared the CRAP out of me! I'm glad he just quietly backed out, surely your theory was right and he had the wrong house.
I bet you lock the door now! lol

Veggie Mom said...

Once, when Moker was out of town and we lived in the Big, Bad City, the burglar alarm went off late at nite when we were all in bed (this is a real story, though, not a dream!). I grabbed a golf club (yeah, right--as if!), started screaming at the top of my lungs, and slowly descended the stairs. No worries, no Bad Guy--unless you count the washing machine, which was "unbalanced" on the spin cycle, and banging so hard it set off the alarm! BTW, thanks so much for dropping by to learn about the Wonders of Wisconsin! Isn't BATW great?

Meichelle said...

Hi! I found your blog through Now Entering Momville... I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life! :) You sound like me, watching scary tv. And my husband would have done the same thing. Running downstairs naked with a gun. :)
I have a blog, http://nowwhatdoyouthinkaboutthat.blogspot.com/, and I am hosting a bunch of giveaways for baby and toddler. You should check it out!

Z's Mom said...

OMG! You had me on the edge of my seat....which is not good, since I'm sitting at a computer....my chair almost rolled away!

So glad the 'perp' left. You probably scared him sober!!!

I laughed at your husband though...gun cocked and all.

Melissa B. said...

I'm always after the kids to lock their car doors and make sure the garage door is down--this is a scary story, even if it IS a dream!

Jenny said...

Ohhh. I read the story from the link you gave. That is creepy.

I think I would possibly freeze in a situation like yours.
The description of your husband is very funny.

morewineplease said...

Holy SHIT!! I would never be able to sleep again!!!

Sara said...

Ok, I am getting caught up.. this is too funny! Well, not really, I would have been FREAKED OUT! That is CRAZY!

Rhonda said...

That has got to be one of the funniest darned stories I have ever heard!!! My husband is a fireman, so I'd have to come up with something like "he came out buck naked carrying his hose as a weapon". No, that just didn't work. Hmmm, and "he wouldn't shoot someone, so much as squirt them" doesn't work either. Ewww! We'll just to stick with yours instead. lol

Angie's Spot said...

OMG, I would have passed out from fright. That's great that you're now over your fear! Of not being able to scream, that is. The perp must feel like a real jerk. And your comment about hubby running out with gun cocked...well that's just writing brilliance! LOL!

Ronda's Rants said...

OMG Kelly...I don't know how I missed this story earlier...I would have had to move. Your poor husband...so sweet ready to protect and serve..apparently!